News Worms
News Worms

SNL's Trump Chooses Kushner Over Bannon in Cold Open

SNL's Trump Chooses Kushner Over Bannon in Cold Open

Jimmy Fallon as Jared Kushner and the Grim Reaper as Steve Bannon on SNL.

A U.S. lawmaker has demanded the revocation of the security clearance for President Donald Trump's son-in-law and top adviser Jared Kushner for his refusal to disclose numerous contacts with foreign officials.

Alec Baldwin returned to "Saturday Night Live" this week for a cold open featuring some of the show's strong (white male, as the current White House kind of calls for) impersonation talent.

Bennett's Pence tried to dissuade Trump from angering North Korea any further, as Trump extolled the virtues of his own first 100 days in office. "I'm not joking", Trump said, as ominous music plays in the background.

Baldwin muses about the end of his presidency.

"The biggest fattest bomb they have ever seen".

'It's so big and fat, it nearly looks like me when I'm on my golf clothes'.

Trump then summons White House advisers Steve Bannon and Kushner for an "Apprentice"-like elimination segment". Bannon was, once again, featured as the Grim Reaper. Standing before me are my two top advisers. When I see a photo of you. "But no one has ever heard you speak". The person pictured gets to stay.

"It would be really great if the nitpickers could try to see the big picture, and didn't exclusively focus on every little slur and lie I say", "Spicey" says. "You've shown everybody that if you are born rich and marry my daughter, you can do anything you want".

Trump takes a moment to assess Kushner and Bannon's appearance.

For its first live show coast-to-coast, "Saturday Night Live" brought out Jimmy Fallon as Jared Kushner and Melissa McCarthy's Sean Spicer as the Easter Bunny.

McCarthy's Spicer delivered a belligerent apology from a podium, but also berated the press for inflating the incident.

"Everybody shut up so I can apologize". You need all the help you can get.

"In a normal administration, I would say if he weren't the President's son-in-law, this wouldn't be tolerated", Nadler said, comparing Kushner to ousted National Security Adviser Michael Flynn and Attorney General Jeff Sessions, who misled the Vice President and the Senate Judiciary Committee about their contact with the Russian ambassador, respectively.

'They were like boo-hoo, what about the Holocaust centers? "I clearly meant to say, "concentration clubs, ' ok?"

"We are requesting that Mr. Kushner's interim top-secret security clearance be suspended pending a review of Mr. Kushner's compliance with the laws and regulation governing security clearances".

"I am particularly sorry this happened on Passover, or AKA, Jewish Easter", Spicey continues. Not even Hitler- ' before quickly backtracking and saying: 'You know what, not going to do that. You fool me once, right?


editors' picks

April 17, 2017
Bastia fans ATTACK Lyon players: Ligue 1 game called off
Former Lyon player Jeremy Berthod told the club's official TV station that Bastia fans threw balls at Mathieu Gorgelin's goal. They and the staff are very shocked. "None of them wanted to come back out of the changing room and play the match".

April 17, 2017
Cops hunt man who shot and killed a man on Facebook Live
Cleveland police are investigating a homicide they say was broadcast on the Facebook Live video streaming service. Police in Cleveland are looking for a man who broadcast a homicide on Facebook Live, according to WOIO .

April 16, 2017
Swans in trouble after Mawson mistake gives Watford 1-0 win
And despite great vocal encouragement from their travelling fans, the visitors were unable to break down their hosts and salvage a much-needed point.

April 16, 2017
Is Bannon in peril? Trump comments worry his populist base
Storm clouds are gathering over the White House, and its resident lightning rod, Steve Bannon, might be in trouble. In any other situation, the blatant nepotism in the White House would be even more controversial than it is.

April 16, 2017
The iPhone of cars? Apple enters self-driving car race
Apple joins a list of twenty-nine other companies, such as Google, NVIDIA and Tesla, that have been granted testing permits. Alphabet Inc.'s Waymo and Uber Technologies Inc.'s self-driving test cars also have people behind the wheel during tests.

April 16, 2017
Easter Spending the US Expected to Set Records
A little under half of those customers will visit department stores, while about a quarter plan to shop small at a local business. She says 87 percent of shoppers will spend a combined almost $6 billion on food.

April 16, 2017
North Korea parades military weapons, but no nuke test
Local authorities said further analysis would be required to determine conclusively whether the missile in the tubes was an ICBM. Adding to Chinese unease, US President Donald Trump said on Thursday that "the problem of North Korea" would be "taken care of".

April 16, 2017
Trump picks critic to lead Ex-Im Bank he once opposed
Conservative groups including Heritage Action and Americans for Prosperity oppose the bank for similar reasons. Congressional supporters of the bank failed previous year to revive the higher lending limit.

April 16, 2017
April the Giraffe finally gives birth
Millions tuned in each day to witness the birth live online and when it didn't happen, people exercised patience. - April, the NY giraffe whose pregnancy has been watched closely for months, has finally given birth.

April 16, 2017
Emma Morano, world's oldest person, dies in Italy at age 117
As a single woman, she made a living making jute bags and working in a hotel, the AP reported a year ago . She was the oldest of eight siblings, all of whom she has outlived. "I separated from him in 1938".